somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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