Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
