it was like his penis was on wheels.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
