sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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