Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
