i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
