he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
