Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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