I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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