you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
