We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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