I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Why can't burritos get me drunk
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
