capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Randomize
