Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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