and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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