yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
