hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I want to have your abortion
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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