just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
