So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
My life is pants optional.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
