Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
