I feel like I'm in dance class right now
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Randomize
