I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
