I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
