Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
