We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
