SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
