SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
