Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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