so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
