Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize