Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
