walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
