return my video game
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
