It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
