dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
