My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize