You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
