Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I would fuck him just for his dog
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
