I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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