I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
