I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
