I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
