im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
