He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize