RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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