I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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