You can't special order awesome
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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