A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Randomize
