I am spending my child support on dildos
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
