my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
