You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
