using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
