I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
