I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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