I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
