her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
