You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
