Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
