Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
